Getting Up & Falling Down

Jill Amison • August 20, 2024

Dealing with Disappointment

Life is a dance of getting up and falling down, a constant rhythm that shapes our journey. Disappointment is inevitable, whether it arises from unmet expectations, the actions of others, or our own perceived failures. However, how we choose to respond to these moments defines our path forward.


In yogic philosophy, the Kleshas, or afflictions, offer profound insights into the nature of suffering and the journey toward inner peace. When faced with disappointment, especially in conflict, these teachings provide a framework for understanding and transcending our struggles.


Understanding the Kleshas: The Roots of Suffering

The Kleshas, as outlined in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, are five afflictions that cause suffering and hinder our spiritual growth. These are:

  1. Avidya (Ignorance): The root cause of all suffering, it is the inability to see things as they truly are.
  2. Asmita (Egoism): The false identification with the ego, leading to a distorted sense of self.
  3. Raga (Attachment): The clinging to pleasure and the desire for more, which leads to dissatisfaction.
  4. Dvesha (Aversion): The avoidance of pain, causing us to push away anything uncomfortable.
  5. Abhinivesha (Fear of Death): The deep-seated fear of change or loss, which creates anxiety and attachment to the known


When we experience disappointment, it is often these Kleshas at work. For example, Avidya may cloud our perception, making us misinterpret someone else's actions. Asmita can make us take things personally, inflating our ego and deepening our hurt. Raga and Dvesha can trap us in cycles of craving and aversion, unable to let go of what we want or push away what we don't. Finally, Abhinivesha can cause us to cling to the status quo, fearing the uncertainty of confronting the issue.


My Experience with Disappointment

Recently, I found myself in a situation where someone's overaction (in my opinion!) deeply hurt me. I had hoped for a resolution, a chance to talk things through and find common ground. However, the other person refused to engage in any discussion, leaving me with a profound sense of disappointment and frustration. I found myself caught in the Kleshas, particularly Avidya and Asmita. I questioned my own actions, wondering if I had done something wrong, and I also felt a rising anger toward the other person for their refusal to communicate.

Mark Nepo, one of my very favourite writers, in his book The Book of Awakening, writes, "When we make the choice to be present, we become vulnerable to the grace and pain of life unfolding, moment by moment."

This quote resonated with me as I navigated my feelings. Disappointment, like all emotions, is a part of life’s unfolding, and resisting it only deepens our suffering.

So how do we navigate this path?

 

The Yogic Path Through Conflict

In dealing with disappointment, especially in conflict, yoga teaches us to turn inward rather than outward. The practice of Svadhyaya (self-study) encourages us to reflect on our own reactions and the Kleshas influencing our behaviour.

Here’s how we can apply this wisdom:

  1. Practice Awareness (Avidya): Recognise when your perception is clouded. Ask yourself if you are seeing the situation as it truly is or through the lens of your expectations and ego.
  2. Cultivate Humility (Asmita): Remember that we are all human, prone to mistakes and misunderstandings. By letting go of ego-driven responses, we open the door to compassion and forgiveness.
  3. Release Attachment (Raga) and Aversion (Dvesha): Accept that things may not go as planned. Let go of your attachment to how you think things should be and release your aversion to the discomfort that arises.
  4. Embrace Impermanence (Abhinivesha): Understand that everything in life is transient, including conflict and disappointment. Trust that resolution, whether through reconciliation or personal growth, will come in time.


Mark Nepo also reminds us that "Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world, but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold, and the car handle feels wet, and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being, soft and unrepeatable." In other words, we must allow ourselves to fully experience life’s disappointments and joys, knowing that each moment is an opportunity for growth.


Finding Resolution Within

In my own journey, I realised that true resolution does not always come from external agreements or reconciliations. Sometimes, it must come from within.

By practicing the principles of yoga and reflecting on the Kleshas, I found a way to make peace with the situation, even if the other person was not ready to engage.

This inner resolution is a powerful form of getting up after a fall, allowing us to move forward with grace and strength.


In conclusion, dealing with disappointment is not about avoiding the fall but learning how to rise again.

By embracing the teachings of the Kleshas and turning inward, we can navigate conflicts without harm but with wisdom and compassion.

Life will always present challenges, but through mindfulness and self-reflection, we can transform these experiences into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.

As Mark Nepo beautifully puts it, "The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. It blossoms and the bee comes." Let us focus on our own blossoming, trusting that the bees of resolution and peace will come in their own time.


If you'd like to learn more about the Klesha's then do come join us in class, where we'll be spending some time with this philosophy in September!

By Jill Amison January 13, 2025
Navigating Conflict and Creating Boundaries on the Spiritual Path Conflict is an uncomfortable yet inevitable part of life. As someone deeply immersed in the practice of yoga and spiritual growth, I’ve often found myself wrestling with how to navigate disagreements, especially of late, while staying true to my values. Yoga teaches us to ride the highs and lows of life with grace, but that doesn’t mean we always get it right. For me, conflict has been a difficult terrain to navigate, but over the years, I’ve learned to stand up for myself with right action—an approach deeply rooted in both Buddhist philosophy and the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita. Sitting with the Feeling Before Reacting One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is the importance of sitting with my emotions before reacting. The Buddhist principle of mindfulness encourages us to observe our thoughts and feelings without immediately acting on them. In the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna is faced with an internal struggle about going into battle. Krishna advises him not to avoid the conflict but to engage in it with wisdom and righteousness. Similarly, I’ve realised that avoidance doesn’t resolve conflict; rather, thoughtful engagement does. There have been times when I’ve failed at this—when I’ve reacted instead of responding with intention. But with practice, I’ve learned to pause, breathe, and compose my words with clarity and without hostility. This is not always easy, especially when emotions run high, but it is essential for maintaining inner peace while asserting healthy boundaries. Boundaries: The Bridge Between Compassion and Self-Respect Brené Brown, in Atlas of the Heart, speaks about boundaries as an essential component of healthy relationships. She reminds us that we can agree to disagree, but boundaries help define what is and isn’t acceptable in our interactions. For instance: It’s okay that we have different beliefs, but it’s not okay to belittle mine. It’s okay that we are upset, but it’s not okay to yell or swear at each other. It’s okay to set limits, but it’s not okay to disregard or disrespect them. Boundaries are not about controlling others; they are about protecting our own well-being while still allowing space for connection. They help us navigate relationships with integrity, ensuring that we can hold space for differing perspectives without compromising our values. Healthy Ways to Navigate Conflict on the Spiritual Path So how do we engage in conflict in a way that aligns with our spiritual practice?  Here are a few approaches I’ve found helpful: Pause Before Responding – Take a breath, feel the emotions, and respond with intention rather than impulse. Practice Non-Violent Communication – Express needs and concerns without blame or aggression. Hold Compassion for Yourself and Others – Recognize that everyone is navigating their own struggles, and approach conflict with an open heart. Stand Firm in Your Truth – Speak your truth with clarity and confidence, knowing that setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. Accept Disagreements Without Forcing Resolution – Some conflicts may not have a perfect resolution, and that’s okay. Agreeing to disagree while maintaining respect is sometimes the best outcome. Know When to Walk Away – If the other person is unable or unwilling to communicate without crossing your boundaries, it may be necessary to disengage. Protecting your peace is just as important as standing your ground. This could mean ending the conversation, limiting contact, or, in extreme cases, removing yourself from the relationship altogether. Choosing to walk away is not a sign of weakness; it is a testament to your self-respect and emotional well-being. Navigating conflict is not about winning or proving a point; it’s about showing up authentically while maintaining inner peace. It’s about finding the balance between openness and self-protection. It’s a practice—one that, like yoga, requires patience, awareness, and a willingness to grow. As I continue on this journey, I remind myself that I won’t always get it right. But I can keep practicing, keep learning, and keep striving to meet conflict with wisdom and compassion. After all, the goal is not perfection but presence.
By Jill Amison October 6, 2024
How Somatic Yoga Can Help Better Rest
By Jill Amison September 25, 2024
How to balance & thrive during Autumn
By Jill Amison September 9, 2024
Rest. Reflect. Restore.
By Jill Amison September 4, 2024
Transitioning from Summer to Autumn with Ayurveda & Yoga
By Jill Amison August 28, 2024
Transitioning from Summer's Freedom to the Structure of a New School Year
By Jill Amison June 8, 2024
Harnessing the Power of the Vagus Nerve with Yoga: Achieving Homeostasis and Inner Calm
By Jill Amison May 29, 2024
Time to get curious!
By Jill Amison May 20, 2024
Embracing the Present Moment: Lessons from Yoga and Art In the bustling corridors of the Tate Modern, amid the powerful strokes and vivid hues of Expressionist art, I recently found myself immersed in a profound experience that transcended the boundaries of time and space. As I wandered through the exhibit, I was reminded of the deep connection between yoga, the present moment, and the intricate dance between humanity and nature. This journey through art and mindfulness revealed a richer way to perceive reality, fostering a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. The Art of Being Present Yoga teaches us the importance of being fully present in each moment, of grounding ourselves in the here and now. This principle was vividly brought to life as I stood before the masterpieces in the Tate Modern. The bold, emotive works of the Expressionist artists drew me into their world, compelling me to experience each piece not just as a spectator, but as an active participant in their creative expression. In yoga, we practice mindfulness through our breath, our movements, and our focus. Similarly, standing before a piece of art, allowing oneself to be enveloped by its energy, is a form of meditation. It requires us to silence the chatter of our minds and open ourselves to the visual symphony before us. This act of seeing, truly seeing, is akin to the yogic practice of Dharana, or intense concentration, which paves the way to a deeper state of awareness and insight. Seeing Beyond the Surface The Expressionist exhibit was a reminder that there is always more to discover beyond the surface. Just as yoga invites us to look beyond our physical forms and connect with our inner selves, art encourages us to delve into the layers of meaning, emotion, and symbolism embedded in each work. I found myself captivated by the interplay of shadows, patterns, and symmetry within the paintings. These elements, often overlooked in our hurried lives, became focal points for a fuller visual experience. They taught me that by adjusting our perspective, we can uncover hidden depths and new dimensions in both art and life. The Spiritual Connection Both yoga and art offer pathways to connect with something greater than ourselves. In yoga, we seek to unite our individual consciousness with the universal consciousness, recognising the interconnectedness of all beings. In the presence of powerful art, this connection becomes palpable. The emotions conveyed by the artists—their joys, sorrows, hopes, and fears—resonate with our own, bridging the gap between past and present, self and other. The spiritual connection extends beyond humanity, embracing nature as well. Just as yoga teaches us to find harmony with the natural world, the art at the Tate Modern reflected this intrinsic bond. The organic forms, vibrant colours, and dynamic compositions echoed the rhythms of nature, reminding me of the seamless integration of art, humanity, and the environment. Expanding Perception and Imagination Yoga encourages us to expand our perception and imagination, to see beyond the limitations we impose on ourselves. This expansion was mirrored in the artworks, which challenged conventional perspectives and invited innovative interpretations. The creative expression of the Expressionist artists served as a powerful metaphor for the limitless potential within each of us. By embracing the present moment and looking beyond what we think we are, we open ourselves to new possibilities and deeper insights. This practice of seeing with fresh eyes, both on the yoga mat and in the art gallery, enriches our experience and fuels our creative spirit. In short my visit to the Tate Modern was more than just an art exhibit; it was a reminder of the continuous journey of discovery and connection. Whether through yoga or art, we are constantly invited to explore, to see with clarity, and to immerse ourselves in the present moment. As we navigate this gift of our life, let us remember that there is always more to discover—within ourselves, in the world around us, and in the intricate interplay of light and shadow, form and pattern, that shape our reality. Image: In the Rain by Franz Marc
By Jill Amison April 29, 2024
Yoga is not just about flexibility and relaxation; it's also a powerful tool for enhancing joint health. Whether you're dealing with hypermobility, arthritis, or simply want to prevent falls as you age, yoga offers a holistic approach to strengthen, support, and nourish your joints. Let's explore the myriad benefits yoga brings to joint health and how it can transform your well-being. Strengthening Joints: Yoga poses are designed to engage various muscle groups around the joints, providing stability and strength. Poses like Warrior I and II, Chair Pose, and Plank strengthen the muscles around the knees, hips, and shoulders, promoting joint stability and reducing the risk of injuries. Supporting Hypermobility: For individuals with hypermobility, yoga can be a safe and effective way to build stability and control in the joints. Focusing on alignment and engaging the muscles around hypermobile joints helps prevent overextension and reduce the risk of dislocations or strains. Poses such as Tree Pose, Eagle Pose, and Bridge Pose promote stability while respecting the body's range of motion. Alleviating Arthritis Symptoms: Yoga offers gentle movements and mindful breathing techniques that can help manage arthritis symptoms such as pain, stiffness, and inflammation. Research has shown that regular yoga practice can improve joint flexibility, reduce pain levels, and enhance overall quality of life for arthritis sufferers. Gentle poses like Child's Pose, Cat-Cow, and Gentle Twists provide relief and promote joint mobility. Preventing Falls: As we age, maintaining balance and stability becomes increasingly important to prevent falls and injuries. Yoga improves proprioception (awareness of body position) and balance through standing poses, core strengthening exercises, and mindful movement. Poses like Tree Pose, Warrior III, and Standing Forward Fold enhance balance and coordination, reducing the risk of falls. Enhancing Flexibility: Flexibility is key to joint health, allowing for a full range of motion and preventing stiffness. Yoga gently stretches and lengthens the muscles, tendons, and ligaments surrounding the joints, improving flexibility and mobility. Poses like Downward Facing Dog, Cobra Pose, and Seated Forward Fold target tight areas and promote joint suppleness. Promoting Mind-Body Connection: Yoga encourages mindfulness and body awareness, fostering a deeper connection between the mind and body. By tuning into sensations within the joints during practice, individuals can identify areas of tension, imbalance, or discomfort and make adjustments accordingly. This heightened awareness promotes self-care and prevents overexertion or strain on the joints. Conclusion: Yoga is a versatile and accessible practice that offers numerous benefits for joint health at every stage of life. Whether you're looking to strengthen and support your joints, manage arthritis symptoms, or prevent falls as you age, incorporating yoga into your routine can lead to profound improvements in your overall well-being. With its emphasis on mindful movement, breath awareness, and holistic healing, yoga empowers individuals to nurture their joints and live with greater vitality and ease. Start your yoga journey today and experience the transformative effects on your joint health.
Show More
Share by: